failing forward.

Failing Forward, by John C. Maxell, is an entire book dedicated to the concept of failing forward. Failing forward is what it implies, being able to make mistakes and learn from them. The book is made up of 16 seemingly simple steps to do just that. Each step is given a chapter where the author discusses different steps to be successful with that particular step, and includes different stories from people he has meet or people that are well known.

Maxwell’s first step in the process of failing forward is to realize there is one major difference between average people and achieving people. During this step, he says that most people fear failure, misunderstand failure or are unprepared for failure. He explains that failure is more common than success and therefore people need to learn how to deal with their problems, or go through a sort of “training”.

Step two is to create a new definition of failure and success. He wants people to realize that failure is not something that can be avoided. He also explains that failure is not a single event but rather a process of how you deal with life. Failure is not objective, your own responses to mistakes determines whether actions fail. People think that failure is an enemy, however he argues that failure is in fact a good thing. He also claims that people think that failure is irreversible, however when kept in perspective, everything is part of the process. People think failure is a stigma, but Maxwell argues that you can make each failure a step to success. And lastly, failure is not final.

Remove the “you” from failure is step three. There is a big difference between saying “I am a failure” versus “I failed at doing something”. He gives seven abilities to not take failure personally. He says that achievers reject rejection, achievers see failure as temporary, achievers see failures as isolated incidents, achievers keep expectations realistic, achievers focus on strengths, achievers vary approaches to achievement, and achievers bounce back. To emphasize these points, he gives to story of Rudy, someone who failed at certain things, but never considered himself a failure.

Step four is to take action and reduce your fear. Some types of fear he gives are paralysis, or trying to avoid doing anything that might lead to failure, procrastination by not following through, or purposelessness. Purposelessness results in self-pity, excuses, misused energy and hopelessness. With this step, he also discussed motivation. He explains that motivation is not something that just “strikes” you. No one can force you to be motivated, and the whole concept of motivation is a trap. He explains that after you start doing something, that’s when motivation comes and it makes it easier to keep going.

Step five is changing response to failure by accepting responsibilities. For this step, Maxwell explains that people tend to make excuses when they mess up and blame other people or other factors. He uses a quote from H. Stanley Judd, “Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s okay to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing”. He goes on to explain that people mistake quitting for failing.

Don’t let failure from the outside get inside you is step six. Being able to do this means accepting responsibility for yourself, your problems, and your failures to become better prepared to fail. The example he uses for this chapter is store owner Greg Horn. After a river flooded in Kentucky, his entire store and everything in it was destroyed. Instead of letting this stop him, he realized that by working hard to reopen the store in 21 days, he allowed 80 people return to work. This entire chapter is dedicated to having a positive attitude and being content. To him, being content means expecting the best (not the worst), remaining upbeat, seeing solutions in every problem (and not problems in every solution), believing in yourself (even if others believe that you failed), and holding on hope (even if others say its hopeless). Maxwell quotes the Norwegians as saying “there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing”.

Step seven is say good-bye to yesterday. People can either experience a breakdown or a breakthrough. There are a few signs that people are still hung up on the past. First is comparison; this is complaining about how hard they’ve had it compared to others. Second is rationalization, or by trying to make a good excuse not to get over the past. Next is isolation, or people that withdraw for self-protection. Fourth is regret, taking away energy and stops people from doing anything positive. The final characteristic is bitterness, or not processing past injuries and tragedies.

Step eight is change yourself, and your world changes. Some achievements can come as a result of failure to help you understand who you are. The problem with this is that most people don’t want to admit that they need to change. In order to reach ones potential and face your flaws you must first see yourself clearly, admit your flaws honestly, discover your strengths joyfully and finally build on those strengths passionately.

Get over yourself and start giving yourself is step nine. He starts this chapter saying “get over yourself-everyone else has”. One of the most important aspects of leadership is being able to help others. People tend to think only about themselves and feel like they are “missing something” in their lives. Work on developing a giving “spirit” helps people fill this in a positive way. He explains that you should never take yourself too serious. He jokes that the only person that should take themselves seriously is the president, however when asked about George Bush trading cards, Bush replied saying “I don’t dare ask how many hundreds of George Bush cards you have to trade to get one Michael Jordan”. Being able to keep a sense of humor is important in any leadership position. To do this, you must put others first, find out what others need and finally meet those needs with excellence and generosity.

Step ten is find the benefit in every bad experience. In this chapter, Maxwell says “we overestimate the event and underestimate the process. Every fulfilled dream occurred because of dedication to a process”. Until someone learns how to respond to experiences or adversity, they will be reluctant to ignore tradition, push the envelope, or to challenge themselves to their limits. He explains one class that was offered called Failure 101. In the class students created products that nobody would ever buy, therefore making failure and innovation the same thing, and opening them up to try new things. When trying something new, figure out what you can learn about yourself and see how that can help you with future challenges.

Step eleven is if at first you do succeed, try something harder. Risk should be evaluated not by the fear you have or how likely you are to succeed but rather by the value of your goal. He quotes Hellen Kellers’ “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all”. The comparisons between don’t-dare-try-it-people and don’t-dare-miss-it people are made. The don’t try it people have the motto “I would rather try nothing great and succeed than try something great and risk failure”. On the other hand the do not miss it people have the motto “I would rather try something great and fail than try nothing great and succeed”. The embarrassment trap, rationalization trap, unrealistic expectation trap, fairness trap, timing trap, and the inspiration trap are all things people should make sure they don’t fall into.

Learn from a bad experience and make it a good experience is the twelfth step. One way to look at it is you can either let failure be your friend or your enemy. People learn a lot for their experiences and by failing, create different sets of priorities. You never really know who you are until you’ve been tested, and you learn so much more from failure than you ever would from success. Being teachable is an important characteristic, by being able to learn from any situation. And, as any child learns, before you can be a good winner you have to know how to lose.

The next step is to work on the weakness that weakens you. He lists the top ten reasons why people get in their own way. They are poor people skills, a negative attitude, a bad fit, lack of focus, a weak commitment, an unwillingness to change, a shortcut mind set, relying on talent alone, a response to poor information, and no goals. If you become committed to overcoming failure and achieve, you must be willing to work on your weaknesses.

Step fourteen is to understand there’s not much difference between failure and success. One important way to achieve any goal is to learn tenacity and persistence. In order to develop desire, one must find oneself, eliminate excuses, develop some incentives, and cultivate determination.

Fifteen is get up, get over it, get going. He uses the term FORWARD to explain getting back up. Finalize your goal, Order your plans, Risk failing by taking action, Welcome mistakes, Advance based on your character, Revaluate your progress continually, Develop new strategies to succeed.

The final step in the process is to go out and do it.

Women in Leadership.

Rachel Fisher brought up so many great points during her lecture it's really hard to pick just one. Most importantly, Rachel talked about being a woman in leadership and how you just need to own it. I never really thought of it that way, but after she said it I realized that it was very true. So many times woman compare themselves to men, and sometimes try to emulate different qualities, when in the end you will be so much more successful by just being yourself. I think her talking about how women are seen as being comedic when they are leaders rather than serious is definitely something to consider. So many times I see women that second guess themselves in their positions and its something that they should just try to be more serious and sure of themselves. She explained that women leaders are likely to take longer to do something than men are, however when they do finish it is received better. I think she brought up a great point about thinking outside of the box. She talked about a leader in a beer company that came in and completely changed up their advertising for the Super Bowl commercial. Although people were unsure on how to react to this change- it was the most successful commercial the company has to this date. This just shows the impact that one person can have on either a company or organization.

Change.

I think that so far, this class has been beneficial for me. I think that the discussion questions have been going over well, I think that the only problem has been that there are not enough students in the class to get a really strong discussion going. Sometimes, because we are very similar and share similar experiences, it is hard to find new topics to talk about, without bringing it back to being an RA. I think that having more discussion topics during one class period might be beneficial, because it would give us more to talk about. Perhaps doing one of the chapters and then one or two of the "hot topic discussions".

I think that next semester, the class will be better with more students. I think that so far it has been going well, the only thing that we are struggling with seems to be the size of the class and bringing different persepectives into it. I think that one thing we could try to do is work on applying the theories to our experiences more, with a longer discussion, as well as focusing on our questionnaires that we talk about on the facebook page. I also think the ideas we came up with in class will work too, like hand outs or youtube videos. I think that getting everyone to participate in different ways will help engage the discussions.

I also think that starting a Student Leadership Minor would get more students interested because it is a great thing to learn, however the class itself does not apply to any major/minor specifically. I think that getting people interested in the minor would get a larger group in class and stronger discussions/ participation.

Reflection

By this time you have completed several leadership questionnaires. Taking all of the results combined, what are your greatest leadership strengths/assets. What are your greatest leadership weaknesses. Think about - what are the themes that you are seeing emerge when you look at the larger picture of all of the questionnaries?

I think that there are a lot of things that I have seen emerging through the different questionnaires. First, I know that I am self-confident in my abilities, however there are moments where I second guess myself.

Second, I see that I like to find a balance in whatever skills we are talking about, or that my reaction depends on the situation. For this Skills Inventory I was surprised with my results at first. Then, after thinking about it I realized that I am trying to find the balance between technical skills, human skills, and conceptual skills. Although I am still working to improve upon my conceptual skills, I feel that finding a balance between the three that works for me will be a huge strength in my leadership journey. With the styles questionnaire, I realized that I do have a higher score in relationships than with tasks, but again this definitely depends on the situation. With certain things, I focus mainly on getting the goal done, while in most sitations I focus on the people.

With the situational approach, I learned that it definitely depends on the situation. In certain situations I can act one way, depending on the persons needs, and in other situations I can respond in a completely different way.

I think that overall, my greatest weakness is the fact that I constantly question myself. I look back on situations that I have been through and sometimes wish that I could have responded in a different way. I think that being able to figure out what works for me will benefit me as a leader. I think that being able to focus and find that balance between relationship and task orientation would help me as a leader because I think that I would be more successful at what I am trying to accomplish. I think that although forming these relationships within being an RA and in my organizations can be beneficial, I have to be able to look at the bigger picture (use my conceptual skills) and be able to accomplish whatever task is handed to me. I think that being able to balance these two things has been a weakness to me so far, but is something I hope to improve upon this semester.

Pick a situation in the coming week in which you must use situational leadership or delegation - use it/do it, and reflect on how the process/interaction went, particularly if it went well,the outcomes achieved, and your reflection/thoughts on carrying it out.

This week, I knew I had two different events I would have to use situational leadership for. First, I had a mandatory floor meeting. For this meeting we were working on recontracting. For this, I had to be high directive and low supportive. For this meeting, I explained what they needed to do, and they did it. I did not have to walk them through step by step and they did what they had to do. I spent more time focusing on the goal, which was them filling out the contracts, less time focusing on what they were doing.

In another situation, I had to work on being more supportive with one of my residents. I had a resident who was struggling with a personal problem, and most people were treating her in more of the "coaching" stage. They were being extremely supportive, however they were also being highly directive. These people were telling her what choices she should make and what to do. This is not what this resident wanted to hear. This resident just wanted support and someone to listen. I was in the supporting role by listening to her and letting her make her own decisions.

I think overall, both approached were successful. Depending on the situation, I adjusted how I acted in the moment. Depending on what people needed from me, I acted appropriately. I think overall, the mandatory meeting was succesful, because everything got done quickly and efficiently. The other situation with my resident also was successful, because I was the first person to actually sit down and listen to her, without being directive. I think that working on evaluting the situation and how I should respond will be beneficial for me in the future as an RA and in my organizations.

Leadership Skills

Leadership produces change and movement, while management produces order and consistency. Based on your Skills Inventory results, what are some action steps you would like to make to strengthen your strongest two areas as both a leader and a manager?

I think that even though I had strong human and technical skills, they can still be improved upon through my actions. I believe that I can improve my technical skills through becoming more confident and competent in my actions and by being able to meet the different goals I set for myself. I think that my technical skills are something that can be developed because I am a perfectionist at times and I tend to work very hard on things. I think as a leader I need to remind myself of this, because when working with others I can not set the same standards for others as I would for myself, because sometimes I do set unrealistically high standards.

With human skills, I definitely think that I am good at working with people. I focus more on working with others in a group setting to accomplish a goal, than on my own. I feel that this has shaped who I am today, because I enjoy working in groups and getting others opinions on what should be done. I also work to shape my ideas and work to create an idea that is agreed upon by everyone in the group.

As a leader, I am working to expand upon my conceptual skills. Although I like to think that I can always see the bigger picture, this is not always the case. Sometimes I let myself get caught up into something small and try to perfect that, instead of looking and what the final product is and how I am going to get there. I think that conceptual skills, for me, will be the hardest to develop because of my personality and experiences. I feel that I need to work harder to strategically plan and where I should be going.

What is Leadership?

Are you a born leader?
No. In my opinion, leadership is a process. Yes people can have traits growing up that make them a good leader, however, these traits mature as you get older and experience more things. I have gone through the process of becoming a leader, when I was younger I was involved in different teams and day camps first as a camper and later as a counselor. In high school, I was part of groups and then became captain after I got used to the organization, how it was run, and after I figured out what impact I could make. In college, I first got involved in hall council. After a few meetings, I ran for the position of RHA rep. After I got used to RHA rep, I applied for NRHH and the RA position. All of my experiences have been processes that have gotten me to where I am today.

Can you learn leadership?
I really dont see leadership as a learning trait. To me, leadership is being a part of the group, influencing and impacting a group. I think that you can hold a leadership position, but that does not necessarily make you a leader. Holding that position can make you a so-called "leader", however you may not have any impact on the group therefore you are a leader by title but not by actions. Impacting people is not a trait that you can just learn. This concept makes me think of the quote:

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

What do you mean by a good or effective leader?
I think the most effective leaders would be someone people look up to or look to for answers. Good leaders have energy and work to be understanding of others. Good leaders look to make change, in even the smallest way. Good leaders have to have a good balance. A balance between when to be outgoing and when to be more relaxed in a situation. A balance between being hardworking and letting others also take responsibility. Finally the balance between being persistent/ determined, and from being over the top.

Do you need to be charismatic to be a leader?
In my experience, leaders that have that natural energy tend to be more successful in their endeavours. I dont think that this energy needs to be over the top by any means, however I do feel that people are drawn towards people with that energy. The energy that sparks a movement, or that makes people want to listen. I think that people that do not have this "energy" can also be successful in a different way, as long as the remain positive in whatever they are doing. Attitude is everything.

In what situations can you become a leader? How?

I become a leader in situations that show that a leader is needed. When no one steps up and takes responsibility for something. I think that any time something needs to get accomplished, there is a leadership opportunity that a person can delegate tasks while listening to others about how they want to do something.